I have a secret. A big, fat, hairy secret. And I'm not talking minor - league stuff, like I once let Joseph Applebaum feel me up behind the seventh-grade stairwell or I got a Brazilian wax after work...

"Looks like he's lost a guinea and found a farthing," Horace said, then added, unnecessarily, "Will, I mean." Halt turned in his saddle to regard the younger man and raised an eyebrow. "I may be...

So, Mr. Digence, visiting the family home?" "That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney." "Oh, really?" "O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel between friends?" "Very good. You should be on...

Lovers do things together! They rent videos, they ride Ferris wheels, they go out for pizza, they play Scrabble. They ... they talk!" "Talk?" He lifted his head and frowned, his eyes puzzled. "We talk...

What the dev - er, deuce did you do that for? It hurt! "Good," said the angel. "I was afraid these new shoes would not be sturdy enough."

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment....

What the hell kind of Hell was this supposed to be?

I never meant it,

Never try to understand the students. They hate it. They would much rather be tragically misunderstood, wallow in self-pity, stew in their own — That's enough, Phineas, said Dumbledore.

He was becoming aware that there was no such thing as over-the-top with Lawrence Davenport, as long as you were talking to Lawrence Davenport about Lawrence Davenport.

So you have your price. Your soul for a cookie.

I found this, though," Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. "Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm thinking I rig this with a detonator and-""Did you find that in the...

There you have it: our lives in a nutshell. Emphasis on nut.

Okay, so, flying," I started, taking a deep breath and focusing on the thing I loved most in the world. "Flying is … great. It feels great when you're doing it. It's fun. Pure freedom. There's...

I'm way hot, he muttered. But I don't feel sick. Just - way hot.Fang

Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot.

What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-- and a child's more imporant than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with...

Okay, you gotta be nice to him, " I say, coaxing the white fur-ball into my hands. "I will," Nate says, and I smile over my shoulder. "I was actually talking to Mr. Pippi. He's a bit of a butthole.

Life is so funny sometimes that you just have to laugh.

You have more issues than Reader's Digest.

And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.

Why would any writer in her right mind ever consider making a movie instead? That's like going from being a monk or a nun to serving as a camp counselor for hundreds of problem children.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Weightlessness is like heroin, or how I imagine heroin must be. You try it once, and when it's over, all you can think about is how much you want to do it again. But apparently the thrill wears off.

Alright, good night," he said, his words a little slurred. "But before I pass out, I want you to know that you're the hottest biscuit this side of the gravy boat.

His life was a constant war with insensate objects that fell apart, or attacked him, or refused to function, or viciously got themselves lost as soon as they entered the sphere of his existence.

POZZO:I am blind.{Silence.}ESTRAGON:Perhaps he can see into the future.

I am determined to have the headache Thursday, if I have to hit myself with a rock to do it.

I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me.