Life is so funny sometimes that you just have to laugh.

You have more issues than Reader's Digest.

And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.

Why would any writer in her right mind ever consider making a movie instead? That's like going from being a monk or a nun to serving as a camp counselor for hundreds of problem children.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Weightlessness is like heroin, or how I imagine heroin must be. You try it once, and when it's over, all you can think about is how much you want to do it again. But apparently the thrill wears off.

Alright, good night," he said, his words a little slurred. "But before I pass out, I want you to know that you're the hottest biscuit this side of the gravy boat.

His life was a constant war with insensate objects that fell apart, or attacked him, or refused to function, or viciously got themselves lost as soon as they entered the sphere of his existence.

POZZO:I am blind.{Silence.}ESTRAGON:Perhaps he can see into the future.

I am determined to have the headache Thursday, if I have to hit myself with a rock to do it.

I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me.

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior.

He said "cool" like I say a Spanish word when I'm not sure of the pronunciation.

Boy, you knock on the devil's door and he will head slam you through the wall.

In any given situation there will always be more dumb people than smart people. We ain't many!

There are many other little refinements too, Mr. Bohlen. You'll see them all when you study the plans carefully. For example, there's a trick that nearly every writer uses, of inserting at least one...

Don't gobblefunk around with words.

If they wanted their shit stirred, then stirred their shit was jolly well going to be.

Okay. Oh-kay.Re-cap. He just had a man come in his mouth. He liked it. He may be embarking on anal sex, soon, if he was reading the subtext right.Options: stay or leave.Pros of staying: first...

I haven't met that many women, human or angelic, who actually like to drive. In my experience they seem to be much more pragmatic about the whole thing than we are. For most males, driving is an...

Whatever my ancestors did to you, none of them consulted me.

His handsome face is suffused with rage. He stands before me shaking, then to my disgust, bursts into noisy tears; "I shall tell my mother of you!" he sobs and crashes out of the chamber

No one's stopping you," said Jess. "But you've got to make it more interesting. That's why why we drift off and talk about biscuits.

YOU WILL DRINK THE COFFEE UNTIL I CAN SEE MY FACE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE CUP! I did not mean to roar. But it's a clay cup. I DO NOT CARE! He finished the coffee. You did not have to finish it, I said,...

Are you ever going to kiss me without swearing first?

Twenty she curses you out by lunch, says Chris.Thirty she kills you by lunch, adds Logan.I'm getting her number.The two of them laugh.

Would I laugh?Matter of fact, you would, says Zeb. Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.

I mean, here we are in LA. The home of celebrities. They're the local natural phenomenon. Everyone knows you come to LA to see the celebrities, like you go to Sri Lanka to see the elephants.

Peyton, I'm not married and you're not a lesbian. Think of the possibilities.

Does still run fiction?I have absolutely no idea, Melinda, he said, grinning.