I have an inability to enjoy things, but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn't be funny, I guess.

I don't mean to sound - I don't want it to come out funny, but I don't like show business. I love - I love acting in films. I love it.

I would say just start writing. You've got to write every day. Copy someone that you like if you think that perhaps could become your sound, too. I did that with Hemingway, and I thought I was writing...

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Don't confuse efforts with results...

Words were his delight; Hers, a gay gracefulness Of dancing and moving. But when to the place Of deep loving {Starlight at midnight} At last they came, Their full communion And consummation, Their...

If she in fact knows magic she needs to do a spell to adjust that shitty attitude she has all of a sudden," Nona said. "I may not be a witch, but I will knock her right off that broomstick if she...

"Is there something going on between you and Matias?" "No!" "Okay, I may not have a truck load of fancy degrees but all I can say is… liar, liar, I'm seriously thinking of grabbing my blow torch and...

I strike fear into you because I am a man?" "It isn't funny." "I do not laugh. It is a sad thing, yes, that your husband is a man. A very terrible thing.

"This is Simba," Nicole said, pointing to the lion. "Is he dangerous?" Asked Chase. "Not really. He mauled a trainer, but nothing much."

I have a secret. A big, fat, hairy secret. And I'm not talking minor - league stuff, like I once let Joseph Applebaum feel me up behind the seventh-grade stairwell or I got a Brazilian wax after work...

"Looks like he's lost a guinea and found a farthing," Horace said, then added, unnecessarily, "Will, I mean." Halt turned in his saddle to regard the younger man and raised an eyebrow. "I may be...

Lovers do things together! They rent videos, they ride Ferris wheels, they go out for pizza, they play Scrabble. They ... they talk!" "Talk?" He lifted his head and frowned, his eyes puzzled. "We talk...

What the dev - er, deuce did you do that for? It hurt! "Good," said the angel. "I was afraid these new shoes would not be sturdy enough."

She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment....

I never meant it,

Never try to understand the students. They hate it. They would much rather be tragically misunderstood, wallow in self-pity, stew in their own — That's enough, Phineas, said Dumbledore.

He was becoming aware that there was no such thing as over-the-top with Lawrence Davenport, as long as you were talking to Lawrence Davenport about Lawrence Davenport.

So you have your price. Your soul for a cookie.

I found this, though," Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. "Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm thinking I rig this with a detonator and-""Did you find that in the...

There you have it: our lives in a nutshell. Emphasis on nut.

Okay, so, flying," I started, taking a deep breath and focusing on the thing I loved most in the world. "Flying is … great. It feels great when you're doing it. It's fun. Pure freedom. There's...

I'm way hot, he muttered. But I don't feel sick. Just - way hot.Fang

Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot.

What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-- and a child's more imporant than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with...

Okay, you gotta be nice to him, " I say, coaxing the white fur-ball into my hands. "I will," Nate says, and I smile over my shoulder. "I was actually talking to Mr. Pippi. He's a bit of a butthole.

Life is so funny sometimes that you just have to laugh.

You have more issues than Reader's Digest.

And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.

Why would any writer in her right mind ever consider making a movie instead? That's like going from being a monk or a nun to serving as a camp counselor for hundreds of problem children.