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Home Page » Categories » Funny

I would say just start writing. You've got to write every day. Copy someone that you like if you think that perhaps could become your sound, too. I did that with Hemingway, and I thought I was writing...

Elmore Leonard
I would say just start writing. You've got to write every day. Copy someone that you like if you think that perhaps could become your sound, too. I did that with Hemingway, and I thought I was writing just like Hemingway. Then all of a sudden it occurred to me - he didn't have a sense of humor. I don't know anything he's written that's funny.

Don't confuse efforts with results...

C.P. Sennett
Don't confuse efforts with results...

Words were his delight; Hers, a gay gracefulness Of dancing and moving. But when to the place Of deep loving {Starlight at midnight} At last they came, Their full communion And consummation, Their...

Theodore Spencer
Words were his delight; Hers, a gay gracefulness Of dancing and moving. But when to the place Of deep loving {Starlight at midnight} At last they came, Their full communion And consummation, Their complete sphere, Was stillness for her, Silence for him.

"Is there something going on between you and Matias?" "No!" "Okay, I may not have a truck load of fancy degrees but all I can say is… liar, liar, I'm seriously thinking of grabbing my blow torch and...

Jane Cousins To Surprise A...
"Is there something going on between you and Matias?" "No!" "Okay, I may not have a truck load of fancy degrees but all I can say is… liar, liar, I'm seriously thinking of grabbing my blow torch and setting your pants on fire."

I strike fear into you because I am a man?" "It isn't funny." "I do not laugh. It is a sad thing, yes, that your husband is a man. A very terrible thing.

Catherine Anderson Comanche Moon
I strike fear into you because I am a man?" "It isn't funny." "I do not laugh. It is a sad thing, yes, that your husband is a man. A very terrible thing.

"This is Simba," Nicole said, pointing to the lion. "Is he dangerous?" Asked Chase. "Not really. He mauled a trainer, but nothing much."

Roland Smith Storm Runners
"This is Simba," Nicole said, pointing to the lion. "Is he dangerous?" Asked Chase. "Not really. He mauled a trainer, but nothing much."

"Looks like he's lost a guinea and found a farthing," Horace said, then added, unnecessarily, "Will, I mean." Halt turned in his saddle to regard the younger man and raised an eyebrow. "I may be...

John Flanagan Halt's peril
"Looks like he's lost a guinea and found a farthing," Horace said, then added, unnecessarily, "Will, I mean." Halt turned in his saddle to regard the younger man and raised an eyebrow. "I may be almost senile in your eyes, Horace, but there's no need to explain the blindly obvious to me. I'd hardly have thought you were referring to Tug."

Lovers do things together! They rent videos, they ride Ferris wheels, they go out for pizza, they play Scrabble. They ... they talk!" "Talk?" He lifted his head and frowned, his eyes puzzled. "We talk...

Shannon McKenna Behind Closed...
Lovers do things together! They rent videos, they ride Ferris wheels, they go out for pizza, they play Scrabble. They ... they talk!" "Talk?" He lifted his head and frowned, his eyes puzzled. "We talk all the time, Raine. I've never had such talkative sex." "That's just it!" She wiggled, flailed, but couldn't budge him. "Two minutes alone with you, and I'm flat on my back. Every single time!" A slow, knowing grin spread over his face. "Is this your way of telling me you want to be on top?"

She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment....

Rick Riordan The House of...
She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously.

He was becoming aware that there was no such thing as over-the-top with Lawrence Davenport, as long as you were talking to Lawrence Davenport about Lawrence Davenport.

Jeffrey Archer A Prisoner of...

So you have your price. Your soul for a cookie.

James Patterson Max

I found this, though," Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. "Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm thinking I rig this with a detonator and-""Did you find that in the...

James Patterson Angel

There you have it: our lives in a nutshell. Emphasis on nut.

James Patterson Saving the World...

Okay, so, flying," I started, taking a deep breath and focusing on the thing I loved most in the world. "Flying is … great. It feels great when you're doing it. It's fun. Pure freedom. There's...

James Patterson Fang

I'm way hot, he muttered. But I don't feel sick. Just - way hot.Fang

James Patterson Saving the World...

Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot.

Stephanie Perkins Isla and the...

What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-- and a child's more imporant than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with...

Lewis Carroll Through the...

Okay, you gotta be nice to him, " I say, coaxing the white fur-ball into my hands. "I will," Nate says, and I smile over my shoulder. "I was actually talking to Mr. Pippi. He's a bit of a butthole.

Cassie Mae True Love and...

Life is so funny sometimes that you just have to laugh.

Rebecca McNutt Smog City

You have more issues than Reader's Digest.

Rebecca McNutt Mandy and...

And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.

Simone Elkeles How to Ruin a...

Why would any writer in her right mind ever consider making a movie instead? That's like going from being a monk or a nun to serving as a camp counselor for hundreds of problem children.

Amy Tan The Opposite of...

Weightlessness is like heroin, or how I imagine heroin must be. You try it once, and when it's over, all you can think about is how much you want to do it again. But apparently the thrill wears off.

Mary Roach Packing for...

Alright, good night," he said, his words a little slurred. "But before I pass out, I want you to know that you're the hottest biscuit this side of the gravy boat.

Erin McCarthy Hard and Fast

His life was a constant war with insensate objects that fell apart, or attacked him, or refused to function, or viciously got themselves lost as soon as they entered the sphere of his existence.

Vladimir Nabokov Pnin

POZZO:I am blind.{Silence.}ESTRAGON:Perhaps he can see into the future.

Samuel Beckett Waiting for...

I am determined to have the headache Thursday, if I have to hit myself with a rock to do it.

Patricia C. Wrede Sorcery &...

I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me.

Stephenie Meyer Twilight

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior.

Stephenie Meyer Eclipse

He said "cool" like I say a Spanish word when I'm not sure of the pronunciation.

Kelley Armstrong The Summoning
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Today Birthdays

1944 - Kathryn Lasky 1979 - Mindy Kaling 1938 - Lawrence Block 1842 - Ambrose Bierce 1813 - Henry Ward Beecher 1895 - Jack Dempsey 1987 - Lionel Messi 1916 - John Ciardi 1831 - Rebecca Harding Davis 1946 - Robert Reich 1951 - Charles Sturridge 1959 - Dan Gilroy 1950 - Nancy Allen 1962 - Gautam Adani 1911 - Juan Manuel Fangio 1956 - Owen Paterson
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