He thought dawdling, protective thoughts, sitting under the lamp, but he knew that pretty soon his
name would be called and he would have to go up before the bench with himself as judge and his own
crimes as jurors.
And his name was called, shrilly in his ears. His mind walked in to face the accusers: Vanity, which charged him with being ill dressed and dirty and vulgar; and Lust, slipping him the money for his whoring; Dishonesty, to make him pretend to talent and thought he did not have; Laziness and Gluttony arm in arm. Tom felt comforted by these because they screened the great Gray One in the back seat, waiting-the gray and dreadful crime. He dredged up lesser things, used small sins almost like virtues to save himself. There were Covetousness of Will's money, Treason toward his mother's God, Theft of time and hope, sick Rejection of love.
Samuel spoke softly but his voice filled the room. "Be good, be pure, be great, be Tom Hamilton."
Tom ignored his father. He said, "I'm busy greeting my friends," and he nodded to Discourtesy and Ugliness and Unfilial Conduct and Unkempt Fingernails. Then he started with Vanity again. The
Gray One shouldered up in front. It was too late to stall with baby sins. This Gray One was Murder.
name would be called and he would have to go up before the bench with himself as judge and his own
crimes as jurors.
And his name was called, shrilly in his ears. His mind walked in to face the accusers: Vanity, which charged him with being ill dressed and dirty and vulgar; and Lust, slipping him the money for his whoring; Dishonesty, to make him pretend to talent and thought he did not have; Laziness and Gluttony arm in arm. Tom felt comforted by these because they screened the great Gray One in the back seat, waiting-the gray and dreadful crime. He dredged up lesser things, used small sins almost like virtues to save himself. There were Covetousness of Will's money, Treason toward his mother's God, Theft of time and hope, sick Rejection of love.
Samuel spoke softly but his voice filled the room. "Be good, be pure, be great, be Tom Hamilton."
Tom ignored his father. He said, "I'm busy greeting my friends," and he nodded to Discourtesy and Ugliness and Unfilial Conduct and Unkempt Fingernails. Then he started with Vanity again. The
Gray One shouldered up in front. It was too late to stall with baby sins. This Gray One was Murder.
( John Steinbeck )
[ East of Eden ]
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