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The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love
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Something deep in human make up needs and longs for a taste of eternity--a momentary release from the relentless pace of time.
by Thomas Moore
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The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love
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Thomas Moore
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Diana Gabaldon
Men have external genitalia, while women have internal genitalia. This simple difference makes a lot of difference in how they write about themselves-and how you might write about your characters. Male writers don't often address internal sensation in a character, because they don't experience it {and probably often don't realize consciously that it's there}. This accounts for a lot of Really Terrible sex scenes written by men {if you look at the "Bad Sex-Scene Awards" in any given year, you'll see that the vast majority are done by male writers}.
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To some extent, emotions are universal and can be treated that way; no matter what the participants' orientation or preference, they have sex for the same reasons and can experience the same array of emotions in the process. But there are three important distinctions to be made: 1. The logistics of physiology 2. The basics of sexual attraction 3. Cultural impact on character and situation
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Almost everybody understands that you have to have something at stake for a story to be good.
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One of the general patterns of good {i.e., striking and memorable} writing is the effect of repetition. If you use a certain element-a plot device, an image, a noticeable phrase-once, readers may or may not notice it consciously, but it doesn't disturb the flow of their reading. If you use that element twice, they won't notice it consciously-but they will notice it subconsciously, and it will add to the resonance of the writing or to their sense of depth and involvement {and if it's a plot device, it will heighten the dramatic tension}. But if you use that element three times, everybody will notice it the third time you do it.
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This is why you use imagery when writing about sex; it's a means both of evoking immediacy and of distilling emotion.
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