Men have external genitalia, while women have internal genitalia. This simple difference makes a lot of difference in how they write about themselves-and how you might write about your characters. Male writers don't often address internal sensation in a character, because they don't experience it {and probably often don't realize consciously that it's there}. This accounts for a lot of Really Terrible sex scenes written by men {if you look at the "Bad Sex-Scene Awards" in any given year, you'll see that the vast majority are done by male writers}.
In her book "I Give You My Body . . .": How I Write Sex Scenes, Diana Gabaldon highlights the distinction between male and female genitalia and its impact on writing. Men typically have external genitalia while women possess internal genitalia, which influences how each gender perceives and conveys experiences in their writing. This fundamental difference can lead male authors to overlook internal sensations, resulting in a gap in their understanding of female perspectives in their narratives.
Gabaldon notes that because male writers often lack personal experience with internal sensations, they may unintentionally ignore these aspects in their characters, leading to poorly written intimate scenes. This observation is supported by trends in the "Bad Sex-Scene Awards," where male-authored works frequently dominate. Ultimately, the author emphasizes the importance of recognizing these differences to create more authentic and relatable characters in storytelling.
