all my life I have never heard a mother call out to her child as he or she goes off to school, Take a lot of risks today, darling. She is more likely to convey to her child, Be careful, darling. This Be careful carries with it a double message: The world is really dangerous out there … and … you won't be able to handle it. What Mom is really saying, of course, is, If something happens to you, I won't be able to handle it. You see, she is only passing on her lack of trust in her ability to handle what comes her way.
In her book "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway," Susan Jeffers observes that when mothers communicate with their children, they typically emphasize caution rather than encouragement to take risks. The common phrase, “Be careful, darling,” conveys an underlying belief that the world is fraught with dangers and suggests an inherent lack of confidence in the child's ability to cope with challenges. This cautionary approach reveals a mother's anxiety about potential harm and her own fear of losing control over the situation.
Jeffers points out that the message a mother sends may stem from her own insecurities and fears about facing the uncertainties of life. Rather than empowering children to embrace challenges, this mindset may inadvertently instill a fear of the unknown in them. By recognizing this pattern, individuals can work towards fostering a more adventurous spirit in themselves and others, encouraging risk-taking as a pathway to growth and resilience instead of harboring fears of failure or danger.
