In the book "Engleby" by Sebastian Faulks, the protagonist experiences a profound inner turmoil, feeling as though his reality has shattered into chaos. He grapples with feelings of fragmentation and instability, leading him to reflect on the disarray surrounding his existence. This sense of disconnection highlights his struggle to maintain a sense of self amidst the turmoil.

The quote emphasizes the character's desperate attempt to cling to whatever semblance of stability he can find. His intense grip on his reality reveals a deep vulnerability and the fear of losing himself completely. This internal conflict drives the narrative, providing insight into the complex nature of identity and the human experience in times of crisis.