In the book "Engleby," author Sebastian Faulks expresses a longing for a more vibrant and engaged life. He describes a desire to wake up feeling energized and eager to embrace the day ahead. The thought of having meaningful conversations with friends and sharing experiences brings a sense of fulfillment that he yearns for.

However, the narrator acknowledges that he has not yet reached this joyful state. There is a recognition of a gap between his current feelings and the aspiration to be fully connected, suggesting an ongoing struggle to find that sense of vitality and ongoing connection with others.