Anger is always reserved for someone else. And yet, I've been in a room who escaped a war, who lost her father in ethnic cleansing, whose mother burned her hair, whose cousin raped her. 'What right do I have to be angry, when I am alive?' she said.Anger is the privilege of the truly broken, and yet, I've never met a woman who was broken enough that she allowed herself to be angry.An angry woman must answer for herself. The reasons for her anger must be picked over, examined, and debated.
In Roxane Gay's "Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture," the author explores the complex relationship women have with anger, particularly in the context of trauma and suffering. Gay highlights a poignant moment where a woman, who has endured unimaginable hardships, questions her right to feel anger. This reflection underscores the societal expectation that those who are oppressed should not express anger, particularly when they are alive and have survived through adversity.
Gay argues that anger, often seen as a privilege of the broken, is something many women struggle to embrace. Women are frequently compelled to justify their emotions and confront societal perceptions, which adds an added layer of complexity to their experiences. The need for women to rationalize their anger reveals how deeply ingrained these expectations are, making it challenging for them to fully express their justified feelings of rage.
