Joan Didion reflects on her realization that she does not fit the archetype of a heroic woman in a Western film. While the men in her life have been admirable and have introduced her to new places, they haven't embodied the larger-than-life persona of figures like John Wayne. This dissonance illustrates her longing for a romanticized ideal that she associates with adventure and fulfillment.

Despite her experiences and the virtues of her companions, Didion reveals a sense of unfulfilled longing. The phrase about waiting for a line signifies her yearning for an unattainable ideal that continues to resonate deep within her. Her writing captures a bittersweet acknowledgment of her reality contrasted with an enduring dream of an idyllic life that feels perpetually out of reach.