I hurt the people I cared about, and insulted those I did not. I cut myself off from the one person who was closer to me than any other. I cried until I was not even aware when I was crying and when I was not, cried in elevators and in taxis and in Chinese laundries, and when I went to the doctor he said only that I seemed to be depressed, and should see a "specialist." He wrote down a psychiatrist's name and address for me, but I did not go.
The narrator reflects on a profound sense of isolation and emotional hurt, revealing how their actions negatively impacted both loved ones and strangers. Acknowledging the pain caused, they describe a deep loss of connection with someone very important in their life, leading to frequent, uncontrolled crying in various public places. This emotional turmoil indicates a struggle with depression.
Despite recognizing their distress, the narrator hesitates to seek professional help despite being advised to see a psychiatrist. This reluctance highlights a common barrier many face when addressing mental health issues, emphasizing a feeling of being lost and overwhelmed. The raw vulnerability expressed illustrates the depth of their internal conflict.
