Ashes present a great diminishment away from the living tree with its huge crown and its abundant shade. The recognition of this diminishment is a proper experience for men who are over thirty. If the man doesn't experience that diminishment sharply, he will retain his inflation, and continue to identify himself with all in him that can fly: his sexual drive, his mind, his refusal to commit himself, his addiction, his transcendence, his coolness. The coolness of some American men means that they have skipped ashes.
In "Iron John," Robert Bly draws a poignant contrast between the vitality of a living tree and the stark reality of ashes, symbolizing the inevitable diminishment that comes with aging. He suggests that for men over thirty, recognizing this decline is crucial for personal growth. Failing to confront this reality allows them to remain in a state of inflation, clinging to youthful impulses and airy aspirations that may prevent meaningful connection and commitment.
Bly emphasizes that some American men exhibit a certain "coolness," which he attributes to their avoidance of confronting the ashes of their own experiences. This avoidance leads to a disconnection from deeper emotions and responsibilities. By engaging with the concept of diminishment, men can move beyond superficial aspects of identity and truly engage with the depths of their being, encouraging a more honest and fulfilling life.
