...because in a way it happened to someone else. I don't really speak that person's language anymore, and when I think about her, she embarrasses me sometimes, but I don't want to forget her, I don't want to pretend she never existed. So before I start forgetting, I have to get down exactly who she was, and exactly how she felt about everything. She was me a lot longer than I've been me so far.
The quote reflects a deep sense of nostalgia and a struggle with identity. The speaker grapples with the disconnect between their present self and the person they used to be, acknowledging that while they feel distant from that past self, it is also an integral part of who they are. This creates a poignant mix of embarrassment and affection for their former self, indicating a complex emotional bond that they wish to preserve.
The desire to remember and accurately portray their past self speaks to the importance of memory in shaping one's identity. The individual feels compelled to document their experiences and emotions before they fade into obscurity, signifying a fear of losing a crucial piece of themselves. Ultimately, the quote encapsulates the struggle between embracing change while respecting the continuity of one's identity.