But I love you, Trixie said. There was no easy switch that she could flip to stem the flow of feelings, no way to drain the memories that pooled like acid in her stomach because her heart no longer knew what to do with them. She couldn't blame Jason; she didn't like herself like this, either. But she couldn't go back to being the girl she'd been before she met him; that girl was gone. So where did that leave her?
Trixie is caught in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, torn between her deep love for Jason and the painful awareness that she can’t return to the person she once was. Her feelings have become overwhelming, and she reflects on how memories linger, causing her distress. Despite recognizing that the situation is complicated and unhealthy, she finds it hard to blame Jason for their predicament, as she grapples with self-acceptance in the aftermath of their relationship.
This realization leads her to a poignant question about her identity. The girl she used to be has vanished, leaving her uncertain about where she stands now. Trixie's struggle with her feelings represents a universal challenge of navigating love and personal growth, highlighting the difficulty of reconciling past experiences with the present. She feels trapped in a state of emotional turmoil, searching for clarity and resolution.
