He couldn't bear to live, but he couldn't bear to die. He couldn't bear the thought of he making love to someone else, but neither could he bear the absence of the thought. And as for the note, he couldn't bear to keep it, but he couldn't bear to destroy it either.
The character experiences profound emotional turmoil, caught between conflicting desires and fears. The struggle of wanting to live yet be unable to endure life's complexities highlights a deep internal conflict. This reflects his longing for connection as well as his dread of moving on from a past relationship.
Additionally, the note symbolizes the weight of memories and the challenge of letting go. He finds himself trapped in a cycle where he can't choose between holding onto the past or erasing it. This duality encapsulates the difficulty of grappling with loss and the complexities of love and remembrance.
