He was drinking and contemplating his fear. It seemed to him that he had been afraid all his life, but in recent years, or so it seemed, he had learned how to take a step into his fear, how to take the action which frightened him most {and so could free him the most}. He did not do it always, who could? but he had come to think that the secret to growth was to be brave a little more than one was cowardly, simple as that, indeed
The character reflects on a lifetime of fear, realizing that drinking provides him a moment to confront it. While he acknowledges that fear has always been a part of his existence, he has discovered a method of navigating through it by taking bold actions, despite their intimidating nature. This process of confronting his fears, albeit not consistently, has led him to understand the importance of courage in personal growth.
He expresses that true growth stems from a balance between bravery and cowardice. The simplicity of this insight strikes him; it is about being slightly more courageous than fearful. This balance is central to his journey, suggesting that while fear may never fully disappear, the willingness to act despite it is what ultimately liberates an individual.
