Her visits to her former hometown were infrequent and often painful. Pilgrimages fueled by the tepid oxygen of family duty, unease, guilt. The more Esther loved her parents, the more helpless she felt, as they aged, to protect them from harm. A moral coward, she kept her distance.
by Joyce Carol Oates
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Esther experienced deep emotional conflict during her rare visits to her hometown, which were marked by a sense of obligation and discomfort. These trips were not merely nostalgic; rather, they were influenced by feelings of guilt and an overwhelming necessity to connect with her aging parents. The burden of love for them intensified her sense of helplessness, as she grappled with the reality of their vulnerability.
Despite her strong feelings, Esther struggled to confront her fears and protect her parents from life's harsh realities. Instead of facing the challenges head-on, she chose to keep her distance, viewing herself as morally weak. This inner turmoil left her feeling trapped between familial duty and personal discomfort, illustrating the complexities of love and responsibility within family dynamics.
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