In "The Crying of Lot 49," the protagonist Oedipa Maas encounters a series of bizarre and unsettling events that lead her to question the nature of reality and the connections between seemingly unrelated elements in her life. This turmoil evokes a strong emotional response within her, combining a sense of dread with an unexpected form of fascination.

The quote highlights Oedipa's conflicting feelings about her chaotic experiences. She acknowledges the horror of the situation, yet simultaneously finds something extraordinary or captivating in it, illustrating the complex interplay between despair and wonder in her journey of discovery.