I again invoke my favorite analogy for eating disorders: abusive lovers. And what do you do when someone is in an abusive relationship? You don't allow visitation rights, weekly dates. You don't put them in the vicinity of or let the abuser flirt with them. You keep them the fuck away.

I again invoke my favorite analogy for eating disorders: abusive lovers. And what do you do when someone is in an abusive relationship? You don't allow visitation rights, weekly dates. You don't put them in the vicinity of or let the abuser flirt with them. You keep them the fuck away.

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This powerful analogy highlights the often overlooked severity of eating disorders by likening them to abusive relationships. It underscores the importance of setting firm boundaries and protecting individuals from harmful influences. Just as in abusive relationships where keeping the abuser away is crucial for recovery and safety, the analogy suggests that negative influences—such as harmful societal standards of beauty, toxic beauty culture, or even internalized shame—should be kept at bay to foster healing. The comparison also emphasizes personal agency and the necessity of active intervention rather than passive tolerance. Recognizing eating disorders as abusive behaviors can shift perceptions from viewing them as mere willpower issues to understanding them as complex, emotionally damaging, and sometimes dangerous patterns that require firm boundaries and external support. It calls for a compassionate yet assertive approach, encouraging loved ones and professionals to protect and prioritize the well-being of the person affected. The analogy prepares the ground for discussions about prevention, boundaries, and recovery strategies, emphasizing that allowing harmful influences to persist is akin to enabling abusers—something that must be decisively addressed for genuine healing to occur. Overall, the quote passionately advocates for a clear separation from destructive influences in order to facilitate genuine recovery, highlighting both the seriousness of eating disorders and the importance of aggressive protective measures in treatment and personal boundaries.

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July 23, 2025

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