I assumed that people weren't doing their best so I judged them and constantly fought being disappointed, which was easier than setting boundaries. Boundaries are hard when you want to be liked and when you are a pleaser hellbent on being easy, fun, and flexible.

I assumed that people weren't doing their best so I judged them and constantly fought being disappointed, which was easier than setting boundaries. Boundaries are hard when you want to be liked and when you are a pleaser hellbent on being easy, fun, and flexible.

πŸ“– Brene Brown

🌍 American  |  πŸ‘¨β€πŸ’Ό Author

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This quote reveals the emotional struggle many individuals face when balancing their desire for acceptance with the need to establish healthy personal boundaries. It illustrates how the fear of rejection and the deep-seated need to be liked can lead to a pattern of judgment and disappointment. Rather than confronting difficult emotional truths or setting limits that might limit their approval from others, the person chooses to judge those around them, often internalizing dissatisfaction.

The acknowledgment that setting boundaries is challenging, especially for people pleasers, resonates with many who find it hard to say no or to prioritize their own well-being. The tendency to want to be easygoing, fun, and flexible often results in neglecting one's own needs, leading to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and resentment over time. This cycle can be exhausting, as the individual remains caught in a pattern of trying to gain approval at the expense of authentic self-care.

Understanding this dynamic is crucial for personal growth and emotional health. Recognizing the importance of boundaries does not mean rejecting others but rather respecting oneself enough to communicate needs clearly. The quote emphasizes that true strength involves facing the discomfort that comes with boundaries and aligning actions with one's values. Such awareness opens the door to healthier relationships β€” ones founded on mutual respect and honesty, rather than surface-level harmony that can mask underlying dissatisfaction.

Overall, this quote encapsulates the internal conflict between vulnerability and the desire for acceptance, highlighting that genuine connection often requires the courage to establish and maintain personal boundaries, even when it feels uncomfortable or when it risks rejection.

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June 20, 2025

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