{...} I could "talk fast" -- that's to say, without hesitating, stammering -- most of the time -- but there were categories of words, sentiments, I could never say, they'd have stuck in my throat. The embarrassment of it even whispering-teasing to Legs for instance 'Yeah you're my heart too!' or 'I love you' or 'I would die for you', nobody ever talked that way, mostly there was just my mother and me and we hardly talked at all.
The narrator reflects on their struggle with verbal expression, particularly with certain emotions and sentiments that seem difficult to articulate. They remark on how they can speak fluently about many topics but encounter a block when it comes to deeper feelings. Phrases like "You're my heart" or "I love you" sound foreign and embarrassing to them, highlighting a disconnect with their own emotions. This sense of hesitation stems from a lack of open communication in their life, especially with their mother, which leaves them feeling isolated in their sentiments.
This internal conflict indicates a broader theme of the challenges of expressing love and vulnerability, especially in a context where such expressions are absent or undervalued. The narrator's interactions, even playful teasing with friends, reveal a yearning to connect on a deeper level but simultaneously reflecting the fear and embarrassment that accompany such expressions. Through this lens, the narrative explores the complexities of emotional connection within the confines of personal history and familial dynamics.
