The speaker grapples with the complexity of their feelings towards a character named Cross, struggling to express these emotions to others. They are hesitant to share their feelings because they fear Dede, a friend, would not comprehend the nuances involved. The speaker is also unsure of their own emotions, feeling that without a physical expression, like a kiss, there might be nothing substantial to discuss. This uncertainty highlights the lingering doubts surrounding their interactions and the significance of unrequited feelings.
This internal conflict is a recurring theme for the speaker, who reflects on their past experiences with various boys. They question the legitimacy of their feelings, indicating that if there was no obvious sign of interest, such as a kiss, then those feelings might be entirely imagined. This self-doubt leads to a continuous cycle of confusion about relationships and the weight of unspoken emotions, ultimately creating a barrier to connecting with others on a deeper level.