I danced alone for a couple of years, and came to believe that I might not ever have a passionate romantic relationship-might end up alone! I'd always been terrified of this. But I'd rather not ever be in a couple, or ever get laid again, than be in a toxic relationship. I spent a few years celibate. It was lovely, and it was sometimes lonely. I had surrendered; I'd run out of bullets. I learned to be the person I wished I'd meet, at which point I found a kind, artistic, handsome man. When we get out of bed, we hold our lower backs, like Walter Brennan, and we laugh, and bring each other the Advil.
The author reflects on a period in her life where she felt isolated and feared she might never experience a fulfilling romantic relationship. Despite her fear of being alone, she realized she would rather remain single than be involved in a toxic partnership. During her time of celibacy, she discovered self-acceptance and personal growth, which led her to change her outlook on love and relationships.
