I didn't know I was about to be left with her idea of me; with her idea of my goodness pinned onto me like a badge and no chance to throw it back at her {as would have been the normal course of affairs with a mother and a daughter-if she'd lived, as I'd grown older}.
by Margaret Atwood
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The quote expresses the protagonist's realization of the complex relationship she has with her mother. She reflects on how her mother has shaped an image of her, labeling her goodness in a way that feels permanent and unchangeable. This feeling of being bound by her mother’s perceptions creates a tension, as the character longs for the opportunity to assert her own identity and beliefs, which she believes would have naturally developed if her mother had lived longer.

This moment highlights the struggle between maternal influence and individual autonomy. The protagonist recognizes that the absence of her mother has left her with an impossible expectation to live up to, one that does not allow for personal growth or the rejection of another's ideals. Thus, the excerpt underscores the theme of identity struggle in the face of familial expectations and the longing for self-determination in personal identity.

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