I felt loss at every hand. The loss of self-esteem is a celebrated symptom, and my own sense of self had all but disappeared, along with any self-reliance. This loss can quickly degenerate into dependence, and from dependence into infantile dread. One dreads the loss of all things, all people close and dear. There is an acute fear of abandonment.
In "Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness," William Styron expresses the profound emotional turmoil that accompanies mental illness. He describes the gradual erosion of self-esteem, which leads to a diminished sense of self and an increased reliance on others. This process can result in a downward spiral into vulnerability and a terrifying dependency that strips away one's autonomy.
Styron highlights the pervasive fear that arises from this loss, particularly the dread of abandonment by loved ones. As mental health deteriorates, individuals can become engulfed by anxiety and isolation, fearing not only the things they have lost but also the potential loss of relationships that are vital to their well-being. This reflects a deep, universal struggle with self-worth and connection during times of despair.
