I have refused to believe that Mother will die. And by denying her cancer, even her death, I deny her life. Denial stops us from listening. I cannot hear what Mother is saying. I can only hear what I want. But denial lies. It protects us from the potency of a truth we cannot yet bear to accept. It takes our hands and leads us to places of comfort. Denial flourishes in the familiar. It seduces us with our own desires and cleverly constructs walls around us to keep us safe.
The quote reflects a poignant struggle with denial in the face of impending loss, particularly regarding a mother's health. The narrator acknowledges that by refusing to accept the reality of their mother’s cancer and potential death, they are also denying their mother's life. This denial creates a barrier, preventing genuine communication and understanding, as the narrator can only hear what they want, rather than the true messages their mother conveys.
This internal conflict highlights how denial serves as a protective mechanism, sheltering individuals from the harsh truths that they are not ready to confront. By clinging to familiar comforts, denial can create a false sense of security while simultaneously isolating us from necessary emotional experiences. Ultimately, the quote emphasizes that while denial can feel safe, it ultimately distorts reality and hinders meaningful connections.