This quote reveals a profound shift in perception and emotional engagement with the world. The speaker reflects on a personal evolution, moving beyond the immature or superficial amusement found in insolence or bizarre occurrences. Earlier, they derived humor from the awkward or bizarre aspects of life—simple freakishness—but now, with greater maturity, they recognize the stark reality behind human existence. The acknowledgment that "what exists is real" underscores an awareness of life's inherent tragedy, as death and suffering are integral to it. This perspective is sobering: it suggests that genuine understanding involves accepting life's somber truths rather than dismissing them through superficial laughter. Interestingly, the speaker finds that only through engaging with pure imagination—fantasy, nonsense, and absurdity—can they still find laughter. This choice implies a desire to escape the harsh realities by immersing oneself in the realm of the surreal or nonsensical, which offers a safe space for humor untainted by the pain of genuine existence. It's a reflection on how maturity often involves a longing for escapism, not as denial but as a means to cope with the tragic aspects of life. The quote encapsulates a nuanced view of humor as a complex act—one that balances recognizing life's tragic weight with the playful release provided by fantasy and nonsense. This perspective can resonate deeply, as it touches on human resilience: our ability to find solace and amusement through imagination amid life's inevitable tragedies.