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humor
humor - Bilingual quotes that celebrate the beauty of language, showcasing meaningful expressions in two unique perspectives.
James Patterson
Just in case you thought elephants were all sweetness, I can attest to the fact that this one had the time of her life scaring the bejeezus out of those dudes.
James Patterson
A classroom . People trying to stick me in classrooms was becoming as predictable and annoying as people trying to kill me, but with less-fun results.
James Patterson
He nuzzled my neck, inhaling deeply. Mmm. You smell so good.Oh, yeah, I said, smirking. I call this new perfume 'Le Jungle grime et tropical BO.' Dirt and sweat. Very sexy.
James Patterson
Uh-oh,' said Gazzy, but Angel was so nauseated she didn't have time to leap to a safe distance, or grab a gas maskBbbbbrrrrrrrttthhhhhhttttttt.'Mother of God, no!' Total cried, doing a fast belly-crawl to the pool and throwing himself in. 'You said it wasn't your digestive system!''What was that?' Dylan asked. He winced and threw an arm oer his nose and mouth....'Sorry,' Gazzy said miserably, but he couldn't help a tiny grin.Nudge was clawing at a stack of towels to cover her face.'Nice one, Gaz,' said Iggy....'Wait-that was Gazzy? Is that why you call him...Oh, crap,' Dylan said weakly.
James Patterson
Listen, street punk. You're a guy, and you're a couple inches taller, and maybe forty pounds heavier, and ooh, you're in a gang. But I've survived ten years of Catholic school, and I will cut you off at your knees without a blink. Do you understand?
James Patterson
I stood my ground. "You evil scientist are all the same--evil. Count me out."Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I'd already made a huge enemy.Dang, I'm good.
James Patterson
Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. {Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.}
James Patterson
And you're blind?Uh-huh, Iggy said, trying to sound bored.Were you born that way?No.How did you become blind, uh, Jeff, is it?Yeah, Jeff. Well, I looked directly at the sun, you know, the way they always tell you not to. If only I had listened.
James Patterson
Q: You'er presented with a smooth-faced, eight-foot-high wooden wall. Your objective? Get over it. To, like, save comrades or something. How to accomplish this?A: Take a running start, brace one foot against the wall, throw one hand to the top, try to hang on long enough for a comrade to either grab your hand at the top or for another comrade to push your butt up from below. It takes team work!BKA {bird kid answer}: Or you could just, like, over it.
James Patterson
Well, that's an evil smile...
James Patterson
You looove me. {holds out arms} You love me this much.
James Patterson
I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain.
James Patterson
I can talk to fish! Angel said happily, water dripping off her long, skinny body. Ask one over for dinner, Fang said, joining us.
James Patterson
They turned to Angel. "We will call you Little One," the leader said, obviously deciding to dispense with the whole confusing name thing."Okay," said Angel agreeably. "I'll call you Guy in a White Lab Coat." He frowned."That can be his Indian name," I suggested.
Stephanie Perkins
You'll be reading the breakfast menu without me before you know it.Hmm, maybe I don't want to learn French
Stephanie Perkins
Wow. See? You can't say that's not impressive. I recognize the names, even if I don't know what they all did. I didn't. He reaches for his wallet and pays our admission charge. I try to get it-since it was my idea in the first place-but he insists. Happy Thanksgiving, he says, handing me my ticket. Let's see some dead people. We're greeted by an unimaginable number of domes and columns and arches. Everything is huge and round.
Stephanie Perkins
Callipygian:Having shapely buttocks.
Stephanie Perkins
Hair. Bloody. Hair.
Stephanie Perkins
The only French word I know is oui, which means "yes," and only recently did I learn it's spelled o-u-i and not w-e-e.
Stephen Colbert
Divorce is a marital welfare. It's just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn't do enough research before they got married. How is that our fault? Don't drag down my country's statistics just because you ran off and got hitched before you ever saw each other in a bad mood.
Carl Hiaasen
...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me.""You don't know that.""Yeah, you're right," Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.
Carl Hiaasen
Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head.
Carl Hiaasen
Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.
Lewis Carroll
Aren't you sometimes frightened at being planted out here, with nobody to take care of you?''There's the tree in the middle,' said the Rose:'what else is it good for?''But what could it do, if any danger came?' Alice asked.'It could bark,' said the Rose.
Lewis Carroll
At any rate I'd better be getting out of the wood, for really its coming on very dark. Do you think it's going to rain?'Tweedledum spread a large umbrella over himself and his brother, and looked up into it.'No, I don't think it is,' he said: 'at least - not under here. Nohow.''But it may rain outside?''It may - if it chooses,' said Tweedledee: 'we've got no objection. Contrariwise.
Lewis Carroll
I don't know what you mean by 'glory,' " Alice said. Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. "Of course you don't-till I tell you. I meant 'there's a nice knock-down argument for you!' " "But 'glory' doesn't mean 'a nice knock-down argument'," Alice objected. "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean-neither more nor less.
Lewis Carroll
The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on the slates. What are they doing? Alice whispered to the Gryphon. They can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.They're putting down their names, the Gryphon whispered in reply, for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial.
Alice Oseman
Two girls walk past in gargantuan heels and dresses so tight that their skin is spilling out, and one of them says to the other, "Wait, who the fuck is Lewis Carroll?" and in my imagination I pull a gun out of my pocket, shoot them both and then shoot myself.
Lewis Carroll
For the snark was a boojum, you see.
Lewis Carroll
Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. 'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?''That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.'I don't much care where-' said Alice.'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.'-so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.
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Taffy. He thinks about taffy. He thinks it would take his teeth out now, but he would eat it anyhow, if it meant eating it with her.
by Mitch Albom
All our human endeavours are like that, she reflected, and it is only because we are too ignorant to realize it, or are too forgetful to remember it, that we have the confidence to build something that is meant to last.
by Alexander McCall Smith
The value of money is subjective, depending on age. At the age of one, one multiplies the actual sum by 145,000, making one pound seem like 145,000 pounds to a one-year-old. At seven – Bertie's age – the multiplier is 24, so that five pounds seems like 120 pounds. At the age of twenty four, five pounds is five pounds; at forty five it is divided by 5, so that it seems like one pound and one pound seems like twenty pence. {All figures courtesy of Scottish Government Advice Leaflet: Handling your Money.}
by Alexander McCall Smith
In fact, none of us knows how he ever managed to get his LLB in the first place. Maybe they're putting law degrees in cornflakes boxes these days.
by Alexander McCall Smith
Look, if you say that science will eventually prove there is no God, on that I must differ. No matter how small they take it back, to a tadpole, to an atom, there is always something they can't explain, something that created it all at the end of the search. And no matter how far they try to go the other way – to extend life, play around with the genes, clone this, clone that, live to one hundred and fifty – at some point, life is over. And then what happens? When the life comes to an end? I shrugged. You see? He leaned back. He smiled. When you come to the end, that's where God begins.
by Mitch Albom
Small towns are like metronomes; with the slightest flick, the beat changes.
by Mitch Albom
You say you should have died instead of me. But during my time on earth, people died instead of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleague falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole.
by Mitch Albom
we get so many lives between birth and death. A life to be a child. A life to come of age. A life to wander, to settle, to fall in love, to parent, to test our promise, to realize our mortality-and, in some lucky cases, to do something after that realization.
by Mitch Albom
But an ink brush, she thinks, is a skeleton key for a prisoner's mind.
by David Mitchell
Where there's bluster, thinks Luisa, there's duplicity
by David Mitchell
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