In exploring the themes of self-awareness and relationship dynamics, the author confronts the need to identify telltale signs of unhealthy behavior in partners. By reflecting on her past, she acknowledges the tendency to overlook red flags, attributing them to charming quirks or a desperate need for support. This mindset can lead to enabling toxic relationships under the guise of nurturing.

Notaro emphasizes that problematic partners often aren’t as subtle as their girlfriends might believe. Instead of recognizing the inherent issues, many women tend to excuse their partners' behaviors and overlook the reality of situation, demonstrating a complex interplay between enabling and self-deception in romantic relationships.