I never felt like that before. Maybe it could be depression, like you get. I can understand how you suffer now when you're depressed; I always thought you liked it and I thought you could have snapped yourself out any time, if not alone then by means of the mood organ. But when you get that depressed you don't care. Apathy, because you've lost a sense of worth. It doesn't matter whether you feel better because you have no worth.
The speaker expresses a profound realization of what depression truly feels like, acknowledging a change in perspective. Previously, they believed that those suffering from depression were capable of overcoming it at will, perhaps with the aid of external tools like a mood organ. However, they've come to understand that the reality is far more complex and debilitating than they imagined.
This new comprehension reveals the depths of apathy that accompany severe depression, where a person feels a significant loss of self-worth. In this state, the desire to feel better diminishes, as the lack of perceived value renders emotional recovery irrelevant. The quote emphasizes the struggle of recognizing and empathizing with the pain of depression, highlighting the importance of understanding such experiences on a deeper level.
