The speaker expresses a profound realization of what depression truly feels like, acknowledging a change in perspective. Previously, they believed that those suffering from depression were capable of overcoming it at will, perhaps with the aid of external tools like a mood organ. However, they've come to understand that the reality is far more complex and debilitating than they imagined.
This new comprehension reveals the depths of apathy that accompany severe depression, where a person feels a significant loss of self-worth. In this state, the desire to feel better diminishes, as the lack of perceived value renders emotional recovery irrelevant. The quote emphasizes the struggle of recognizing and empathizing with the pain of depression, highlighting the importance of understanding such experiences on a deeper level.