....I persist in examining Mumma from all of the angles available to me I will learn. Not learn how to be a good mother to Sarah, who abandoned me on the sidewalk in front of the school building on the first day of kindergarten {"I don't need a mother any more"}, but rather, to understand her, to know when to stand at her shoulder, when to sit in the stands and cheer her on, when to place myself squarely behind her, and when to throw myself in front of her onrushing train. Or even, maybe, when to come after her balloon with a hairpin. How to help her see that see is loved and to know, about herself, that her love is welcomed.
The speaker is determined to understand their mother, Mumma, from various perspectives. Rather than focusing on becoming a good mother to Sarah, who rejected the speaker's need for maternal support, the goal is to comprehend Mumma's complexities. This understanding encompasses knowing when to be supportive, protective, or simply present in her life.
Through this journey, the speaker hopes to convey a message of love and acceptance, helping Mumma recognize her value and the warmth of love in her life. By exploring various ways to engage with Mumma, the speaker aims to strengthen their bond and support her emotionally as they navigate their relationship.
