I swayed between fear, defiance, and nausea, and was wholly the prey of my passion. I could not and did not want to listen to the depths. But on the seventh night, the spirit of the depths spoke to me: Look into your depths, pray to your depths, waken the dead.
The passage reflects a tumultuous emotional experience where the narrator grapples with conflicting feelings of fear, defiance, and nausea, indicating a struggle with intense inner turmoil. The phrase "wholly the prey of my passion" suggests a deep entanglement with one’s emotions, making it difficult to confront the underlying issues that provoke such feelings. There is a sense of resistance to delve deeper into these emotional depths, perhaps out of fear of what might be uncovered.
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