I wait. I compose myself. My self is a thing I must now compose, as one composes a speech. What I must present is a made thing, not something born
The narrator reflects on the process of self-creation, indicating that they must carefully construct their identity, similar to crafting a speech. This implies a sense of control and deliberation over how they present themselves, suggesting that their identity is an artifice rather than an innate aspect of who they are.
This notion of composition highlights the complexities of identity in a restrictive environment, where authenticity may be sacrificed for survival or conformity. The narrator's awareness of this constructed self points to a deeper commentary on the influence of societal pressures on personal identity.
