The protagonist reflects on a deep emotional revelation regarding her desire for another man, which she had never expressed to her spouse at the time of their marriage. Initially, she had not felt that longing, but circumstances have changed her feelings since then. The recollection of specific moments at Craigh na Dun and Lallybroch reveals the intensity and persistence of her desire, signifying a powerful connection that transcends her current situation.

This admission underscores the complexity of her emotions and the conflict that arises from wanting someone despite existing relationships. The phrase "I want him" emphasizes her unwavering commitment to that desire, suggesting that no obstacle can keep her from pursuing the love she craves. It illustrates the struggle between duty and desire, portraying the inner turmoil and clarity that come with true passion.