I was the shadow of the waxwing slainBy the false azure in the windowpane;I was the smudge of ashen fluff -and ILived on, flew on, in the reflected sky.And from the inside, too, I'd duplicateMyself, my lamp, an apple on a plate:Uncurtaining the night, I'd let dark glassHang all the furniture above the grass,And how delightful when a fall of snowCovered my glimpse of lawn and reached up soAs to make chair and bed exactly standUpon that snow, out in that crystal land!
The quote reflects a deep exploration of identity and perception. The speaker feels like a ghostly presence, like a shadow unable to fully exist within the confines of reality. Through imagery of waxwings and reflections, there's a sense of being trapped within a misleading facade, seeing oneself only in the distorted reflection of reality, as if life is nothing more than a beautiful yet fragile illusion. This duality is emphasized as the speaker experiences both the desire to escape and the simultaneous comfort found in the familiar.
The poem evokes the enchanting yet disorienting beauty of a snowy landscape, where ordinary objects are transformed into something surreal. The mention of snow covering familiar items enhances the dreamlike quality of the scene, indicating how perception shapes our understanding of the world. As the furniture appears to float above the grass, it symbolizes the interplay between reality and imagination, inviting the reader to consider how our interpretations redefine our experiences. Nabokov's rich imagery captures the tension between presence and absence, inviting reflection on existence itself.
