I wasn't in love with her. And she didn't love me. For me the question of love was irrelevant. What I sought was the sense of being tossed about by some raging, savage force, in the midst of which lay something absolutely crucial. I had no idea what that was. But I wanted to thrust my hand right inside her body and touch it, whatever it was.
The quote reflects a complex perspective on love and desire, expressing that the narrator didn't feel genuine love towards the woman he refers to, and she did not love him either. Instead of a romantic connection, he craved an intense, almost chaotic experience that promised to reveal something vital yet unknown to him. This suggests that for him, love is not the primary focus, but rather the thrill and intensity of the experience itself.
This sentiment illustrates a deeper philosophical inquiry into the nature of human relationships and the motivations that drive them. The narrator longs to penetrate the essence of what he feels is elusive yet essential. This desire for intimacy transcends typical love, hinting at an existential search for meaning within the turbulence of life and connection.
