I would have done anything for him. Maybe that was my sickness. We made love in nothing places and turned the lights off. It felt like crying. We could not look at each other. It always had to be from behind. Like that first time. And I knew he wasn't thinking of me.He squeezed my sides so hard, and pushed so hard. Like he was trying to push me through to somewhere else.Why does anyone ever make love?
In the excerpt, the narrator reflects on a complicated relationship marked by deep emotional connection and pain. They describe physical intimacy that feels more like an escape from reality than a true union, suggesting a lack of mutual acknowledgment and care. The inability to face each other symbolizes a deeper disconnect and emotional turmoil.
The narrator's willingness to do anything for their partner highlights a sense of obsession or illness in their devotion. The intense physical experiences are overshadowed by an underlying sadness, hinting that this form of love provides no real comfort or understanding. Through these encounters, the narrator seeks something beyond mere affection, pondering the true purpose of love itself.