I wouldn't let myself think ahead! I remember when my sister said, 'I know widows who have remarried, and are happy.' I almost took her head off. I was appalled. I wasn't at all hopeful life could go on. It sure went on for you, Vanni said. Boy howdy. I came here absolutely determined to live out my days lonely and miserable, but that damn Jack-he ambushed me. I think I fell in love with him the minute I met him, but I fought it. As though I might somehow be unfaithful to my husband's memory by moving on, which was absurd. I had the kind of husband who would have wanted me to have love in my life, and I bet you did, too. You
The speaker reflects on their initial refusal to consider a future following their husband's death. They recall a conversation with their sister, who suggested that happiness could be found again through remarriage. This notion frustrated the speaker, as they were consumed by grief and felt that moving on was dishonorable to their late husband. Despite this determination to remain alone, the unexpected arrival of someone new, Jack, stirred feelings they couldn't ignore.
Although they initially resisted falling in love with Jack, believing it would betray their husband's memory, the speaker acknowledges the absurdity of this mindset. They realize that their husband would genuinely want them to find joy and love again. This internal conflict illustrates the struggles many face while trying to reconcile grief with the idea of new relationships, underscoring the complex emotions involved in healing after loss.
