It had to do with Leonard. With how she felt about him and how she couldn't tell anyone. With how much she liked him and how little she knew about him. With how desperately she wanted to see him and how hard it was to do so.
The passage reflects the deep, unexpressed feelings of a character grappling with her affection for Leonard. Her emotions are complicated by the difficulty of sharing her thoughts with others, which intensifies her inner turmoil. She finds herself drawn to Leonard, yet feels a sense of distance due to her limited understanding of him.
This yearning for connection highlights the struggles of navigating love and desire, particularly when faced with uncertainty. The character's longing to be close to Leonard contrasts with the barriers that prevent her from doing so, underscoring the complexities of relationships and emotional intimacy.
