In the book "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" by Jonathan Safran Foer, the character grapples with complex emotions, particularly regarding the pain of love and the fear of causing harm to oneself or others. The quote "It hurts me when you do not want to hurt me" encapsulates a deep paradox of relationships, where the desire to avoid pain can itself be a source of suffering.

This statement reflects the intricacies of human connections, highlighting how love can create a duality of emotions—intense care intertwined with the anxiety of inflicting pain. Through this exploration, Foer delves into themes of vulnerability, connection, and the ways in which our relationships shape our emotional landscapes.