It's not uncommon to wish to have known what a person you've come to love was like before you met them. It hurts, almost, not to have known what a beloved was like as a child. I have felt this way about every man I've ever been in love with, and about many close friends as well, and now it's how I feel about Apollo.
In "The Friend" by Sigrid Nunez, the narrator reflects on the desire to understand the past of someone they love, pondering what that person was like as a child. This longing is universal, as many people find themselves wishing they could glimpse their loved ones' histories to better comprehend their identities. The pain associated with this unfulfilled wish highlights the deep connection and affection for those who have touched our lives.
For the narrator, this sentiment particularly resonates with her feelings towards Apollo, suggesting that the bond she shares with him intensifies her curiosity about his earlier years. This longing for knowledge about a loved one’s formative experiences underscores the way our past shapes our relationships and influences how we perceive one another in the present.
