It was scary how quickly and completely his past could be rewritten, or overwritten. All those years felt worthwhile while they were happening, but only a few months on the other side of them and they were a gigantic waste of time. Of a life. It was an almost irrepressible urge of his brain to see the worst in that which had failed. To see it as something that had failed, rather than something that had succeeded until the end. Was he protecting himself from the loss by denying anything was lost? Or simply achieving some pathetic emotional nonvictory by not caring?
The passage reflects on the unsettling nature of how quickly one's past can feel invalidated or reinterpreted. The character grapples with the realization that experiences, once cherished and significant, can suddenly seem meaningless after time has passed. This shift in perspective evokes a sense of regret and contemplation about the value of past moments, now overshadowed by recent events.
Moreover, the character questions whether this tendency to view the past negatively serves as a form of self-protection against grief or loss. It suggests a struggle to acknowledge what has been lost, leading to emotional distancing as a coping mechanism. This internal conflict raises important questions about the nature of success and failure, illustrating how memories can be rewritten in the face of disappointment.
