Jammed together at lunch. Not a drinker, nevertheless I experience a distinct alteration of consciousness in the presence of others-socially, but even in the classroom or seminar-a heightening, livening, intensifying sensation-a kind of euphoria. {Would the drinkers attain the same heights, without drinking? But they never make the experiment.} The process is deceptive: one feels oneself fulfilled, with these shreds and bits of other people, but at the same time one is being drained.
During lunchtime gatherings, even though I don’t consume alcohol, I often find myself feeling a shift in my awareness whenever I am around others. This sensation is especially pronounced in social settings or academic environments, where I can feel an uplifted spirit and a euphoric sense of connection. This makes me wonder if those who do drink would experience similar highs without alcohol, yet they never seem to explore that possibility.
However, this feeling of excitement can be misleading. While it may seem that I am fulfilled by the interactions with people around me, there is also a sense of depletion. Engaging with others provides a momentary high, but it also takes energy away from me, leaving me somewhat drained while I collect these fragmented pieces of connection.
