lost a certain touching faith in the totem power of good manners, clean hair, and proven competence on the Stanford-Binet scale. To such doubtful amulets had my self-respect been pinned, and I faced myself that day with the nonplused apprehension of someone who has come across a vampire and has no crucifix at hand.

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In Joan Didion's "Slouching Towards Bethlehem," the narrator reflects on a loss of faith in the reassuring symbols of social and intellectual stability, such as good manners and intelligence. These elements had previously been the foundation of her self-respect, but she comes to realize they are insufficient in the face of life's uncertainties. This moment of doubt is likened to encountering a vampire without protection, emphasizing a deep sense of vulnerability.

Didion's metaphor highlights the fragility of self-worth and how it is often tied to societal expectations and personal achievements. As she navigates her experiences, the contrast between her former beliefs and her present disillusionment paints a vivid picture of inner conflict, prompting readers to consider the broader implications of relying on superficial measures for self-validation.

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January 29, 2025

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