In "The Handmaid's Tale," the character reflects on her lost identity, represented by her name, which has become forbidden in the dystopian society she inhabits. Although she tries to convince herself that a name is merely a tool for others, she recognizes the significance of her true name. It symbolizes her past and individuality, which have been suppressed.

This name is described as a treasure that she keeps hidden away, something precious that she longs to reclaim. The notion of it being akin to an amulet highlights its intrinsic value, reminding her of her former self. As she lies awake at night, the name symbolizes hope and connection to her lost identity, floating just out of reach yet illuminating her dark reality.