The character reflects a sense of detachment from Celia, indicating that she has faded from his thoughts. He acknowledges that while he occasionally dreams of her, those dreams are not a substitute for real memories or feelings. This suggests a loss or absence that he cannot fully grasp.
If he were able to genuinely think about Celia, it implies that he would not need to rely on dreams to reconnect with her. The longing for a different reality highlights a deeper sense of regret or missed connection in their relationship, emphasizing the complexity of memory and emotional experience.