Now? Why now? Why am I missing her now, Frankie? Why not then? When she was there? Why am I afraid that I'm gonna' lose her when she's already gone. And this fear--this fear swarms through me--floods my whole body 'til there's nothing left. Nothing left of me. And then it turns--it turns to a fear for my whole life. Like my whole life is lost from losing her. Gone. That I'll die like this. Lost. Just lost.
by Sam Shepard
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The character grapples with a profound sense of loss and regret, questioning why the pain of missing someone intensifies only after they are gone. There is an intense fear that comes with the realization of loss, leading to a suffocating dread that morphs into a fear of life's futility without the loved one. This turmoil consumes him, leaving him feeling empty and abandoned.
The narrative highlights the depth of emotional struggle, illustrating how the absence of a loved one can trigger existential despair. The fear of an irreparable void in life due to this loss leads to feelings of being lost and hopeless, emphasizing the character's vulnerability and profound sadness in the face of grief.
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