Of my conception I know only what you know of yours. It occurred in darkness and I was unconsenting... By some bleak alchemy what had been mere unbeing becomes death when life is mingled with it.
In Marilynne Robinson's novel "Housekeeping," the narrator reflects on the nature of existence and creation, grappling with the complexities of understanding one's own origin. She acknowledges that her knowledge of her conception is limited, much like how others perceive their own beginnings, suggesting a shared mystery surrounding life and conception. This notion of being created in darkness emphasizes a lack of agency in the process of coming into existence.
The quote explores the transformation that occurs when life intersects with non-existence, hinting at the profound implications of birth and death. The phrase "bleak alchemy" indicates a troubling alchemy where unbeing becomes associated with mortality, highlighting the weight of existence. This contemplation underscores the fragile nature of life, where the acceptance of death is intertwined with the experience of being alive, illuminating the complexities of human existence.