One of my biggest weaknesses, one that has always shamed me, is that I have always been lonely. I've struggled to make friends because I can be socially awkward, because I'm weird, because I live in my head. When I was young, we moved around a lot, so there was rarely any time to get to know a new place, let alone new people. Loneliness was the one familiar thing, making me this bottomless pit of need, open and gaping and desperate for anything to fill me up.
In her book "Bad Feminist," Roxane Gay reflects on her deep-seated struggle with loneliness, which she describes as a significant weakness that has caused her great shame throughout her life. She notes that her social awkwardness and feelings of being different have made it challenging for her to forge friendships. Additionally, frequent relocations during her childhood meant she rarely had the chance to connect with new acquaintances, contributing to her isolation.
Gay articulates how loneliness became a constant in her life, representing a vast emptiness that she feels she needs to fill. Her experiences highlight a profound longing for connection and belonging, emphasizing the emotional weight that loneliness can carry. Through her candid reflections, she opens a dialogue on the complexities of human relationships and the pains of feeling isolated in a world that often celebrates social connections.